MY DAY AT THE CINEMAS

My wife and I decided a light, frothy movie might lift our moods. We had been feeling a bit down since, well, November 9th. We chose “La La Land” a movie described as a throwback musical which has been generating a lot of Oscar buzz.

We settled into our comfortable seats in the Cinemax Complex at Lincoln Mall. After forty two years of marriage posture equals language. Twenty minutes into “La La Land” my wife’s posture was not saying enchantment. She turned to me and quietly whispered, “I’m going to see if there’s a different movie I’ll like.”
The Cinemax has sixteen screens, her odds were good.

I hung in there for fifteen more minutes of increasingly lightweight singing and dancing, but, when Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone’s characters broke free of gravity in the Griffith Observatory and did a number while floating through the faux galaxy, they finally lost me.

Now the search was on. Which other movie had my wife chosen to watch? The small electronic billboards at the entrances to the sixteen theaters would only show the screen number for half a minute before changing to the title so I decided to just look in all the possible venues not worrying about what was playing.

As I walked down the dark alleyway of my first choice I could hear sniffling and crying from on the audience and on the screen a dog seemed to be in not the best of health. “A Dog’s Purpose” did not seem a likely choice, but, I still quickly scanned the crowd to no avail.

The next screen featured brilliantly colored Lego characters preparing for some sort of battle accompanied by deafening music blaring at full throttle. Why do theaters feel the need to assault young children’s eardrums? Well, my wife and I only get to these types of shows with our grandchildren. No need to check this crowd.

“Lion” was the next possibility. In fact, a good possibility because my wife had left “Lion” early about two weeks prior. Her generous, good heart had too much empathy to watch the disconcerting travails of the young Indian boy at the beginning of that movie. We were at the single screen Avon for that show so finding her was much easier. I knew she would be at the Brown Bookstore, one of our favorite haunts. I had stayed for the end of “Lion” and had told her that everything had turned out fine. Maybe she ventured into “Lion” now to see the conclusion. As the screen came into view the young boy was wrapped in Nicole Kidman’s impossibly tall, impossibly pale motherly embrace. I scanned the audience, but, my bride was not to be found.

I rushed into the final theater not knowing the movie title. Before I could see the screen I could hear an odd mix of moans and a weird slapping sound. A quick glance at the screen showed me I was looking at “Fifty Shades Darker”. I rapidly retreated without surveying the audience. Frankly, I didn’t want to know! I could be certain my wife would not be in attendance. By the time I reached the exit for this theater I had convinced myself that every nun who had taught me, grades one through nine, at St. Leo’s in the 1950’s would be picketing against this movie just outside the door!

My fears were unfounded. My theater search was over. I walked out of the main lobby and into the mall where I discovered my wife had decided to browse the stores rather than try another movie.

We had a good laugh as I recounted my search.

Sometimes you do not need escapism to pull you out of the doldrums. Sometimes the silly, funny and inconsequential day to day events are all you need to soldier on.

My review of the first two thirds of “La La Land” can be summed up by my comment to my wife as we drove home, “Well dear, there’s nothing like a good movie and that was nothing like a good movie.”

Roll credits.